Ever wonder about what is going on inside a man’s brain when it comes to dating and relationships? A new book by singer Tyrese Gibson and Rev Run of Run DMC offers insight to the inner thoughts of a man's mind, life lessons and how to find happiness in your relationships.
The book called "Manology," came about after an unexpected disagreement between the two music stars on whether or not marriage is truly meant to last forever. This morning, Tyrese and Rev Run talk with Soledad O'Brien on “Starting Point” to further discuss some of the secrets of the male mind and ultimately help both men and women be more successful in their relationships.
Tyrese, a single dad of a five-year-old girl, admits that he is still hesitant to settle down but the book has advice that can help him and other men “in transition” figure out what their next move is. The Grammy-nominated singer adds that he believes in “getting things out of your system before you finally settle down.”
Rev Run, a married father of six, says the biggest mistake that women make is trying to bring a man into their life before they have their own life.
“The self-love is what you need to have," he says. "Once you create the self-love then you can go out and find love. Many women get lonely or needy and I like to tell them that just because you’re boyless doesn’t mean you have to be joyless.” He says when women create a life built around self-love it is viewed as highly attractive and “that’s how Beyonce got Jay-Z...her being busy and her also being feminine when she was with Jay is what closed it.”
The book also discusses women who share too much information too soon. Tyrese says that when women first meet a man they should “shut up” and stop “spilling your guts over exposing too much information about things you went through in the past.”
He explains that when a man first meets a woman he likely thinks of her as an A+ and by going into multitudes of details about disfunction, infidelity or other situations in your life, “you’ve now devalued yourself” to a D-.
Ever had a moment where you have gotten upset and made a poor decision? “The Life-Choice Coach,” Ken Lindner says he knows how to control those urges which will ultimately lead to success, personally and at work. Lindner, author of "Your Killer Emotions: 7 Steps To Mastering The Toxic Emotions, Urges, And Impulses That Sabotage You" joins “Starting Point” this morning to discuss his new book and how it will help others make life-enhancing personal and professional decisions.
Linder who has counseled people for over three decades on making positive life choices says, “The one thing that has stood out is that you can be brilliant, you can have the best life strategies but if you make a decision when you’re angry, when you’re hurt, when you feel resentful, jealous – you can make a toxic decision.” He says people make that that toxic decision “because you want to opt for a quick fix, you want to retaliate quickly, you want to feel good.”
When it comes to keeping you emotions in check Linder says “you never want to make a life choice when you are overwhelmed with emotions.” To deal with the emotions properly, Linden says you should “step back, you want to be cognitively clear and you want to make a strategic choice.” He adds figuring out ahead of time what you want out of every interaction is one of the best things you can do in an emotional state.
“Fear can be positive, anger if it catalyzes you to do something positive can be very very good,” says Linder. He goes on to say that “emotions per say aren’t positive or negative. It’s the expression of the emotion which is positive or negative.” He says there are certain life steps that can be taken to achieve any goal but the key to acting them out is being “cognitively clear.” Linder says his book explains just how to use your emotions to get to a level of clearness.
Like many Americans, Christopher Kennedy Lawford suffered from addiction for many years. He began abusing alcohol when he was only 12 years old, later turning to hard drugs like cocaine and heroin.
While the bestselling author has been sober for 26 years, Lawford has come to understand how addiction develops and ways to overcome it. The author joins "Starting Point" on Tuesday alongside cousin Patrick Kennedy to discuss his new book, "Recover to Live: Kick Any Habit, Manage Any Addiction."
“We really understand these illnesses are in the brain. People need to know that. I'm about reducing stigma and shame and giving people the opportunity and the empowerment to do something about this illness if they want to,” Lawford explains. He says he interviewed over 150 “neuroscientists, behaviorists, psychologists, (and) treaters” to gain a better perspective on how addiction develops in the brain and how to combat it.
Kennedy, a former Rhode Island congressman, has also grappled with addiction and will be two years sober next month.
“Just like being pre-disposed to cancer or diabetes you also are for depression, anxiety and addiction and many of the genetics overlap so you might have a higher propensity for addiction but also anxiety, depression,” Kennedy explains.
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