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Prosecutor: Punxsutawney Phil indicted for 'letting us down' on early spring prediction
(CNN) - Punxsutawney Phil lied.
That's what a prosecutor in Ohio says. He has filed a criminal "indictment" against the famed groundhog, who, year for year on February 2, emerges from his burrow at Gobbler's Knob to predict whether spring will come early or winter will linger.
Gmoser is convinced that Phil is one and that he intentionally misled the nation. Now, trouble with the law is a brewing for the famous rodent from Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania.
Not really.
It's all in good fun, of course, and Phil's handlers are getting in on the joke. But they are not "ratting" him out.
Gmoser is sticking by his guns. "Punxsutawney Phil did purposely, and with prior calculation and design, cause people to believe that Spring would come early," the indictment reads.
He recommends the death penalty.
Butler County, OH prosecutor Michael Gmoser explains his reasoning for the indictment on "Starting Point" this morning.
READ MORE: Weather groundhog Phil 'indicted,' accused of lying as winter continues
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Please don't sue the groundhog. Cook the lying rodent . De- bone the meat, saute in olive oil with garlic and salt/pepper and bake to a golden brown-serve with slaw or side salad. You too can turn that lying little weasel wanna-be into a feast that will delight all your winter-weary guests. And don't forget the Jello!.
If I was the judge, I would hold them in contempt for wasting the court's time with such a frivolous lawsuit.
"Phil" didn't choose to be the model for forecasting – the people who follow this ridiculous "old wives tale" are the ones to blame. That's all it is – an "old wives tale", and it is not something to be relied on like it is true.
One more point – the people suing are from Ohio, "Phil" is from Pennsylvania – Pennsylvania may or may not have had good weather so it doesn't follow that the same will be true in Ohio. Get your own groundhog and use him for your region!